Funny

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

Oscar Wilde

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Douglas Adams

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

Lana Turner

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.

Miles Kington

Astronomers, like burglars and jazz musicians, operate best at night.

Miles Kington

The truth is, sex doesn’t mean that much to me now.

Lana Turner

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Oscar Wilde

True friends stab you in the front.

Oscar Wilde

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Oscar Wilde

I can resist everything except temptation.

Oscar Wilde

That’s the good thing about being president, I can do whatever I want.

Barack Obama

I love fools’ experiments. I am always making them.

Charles Darwin

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

Benjamin Franklin

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Benjamin Franklin

Basically, I’m for anything that gets you through the night – be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Frank Sinatra

Hell hath no fury like a hustler with a literary agent.

Frank Sinatra

I’m for whatever gets you through the night.

Frank Sinatra

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

Frank Sinatra